Here in my home.

Happy merdeka, malaysia :)

photo credits :
Joshua Chan

Speak the words i can't deny.

Bad idea leaving some of you pondering in anxiety over my condition. haha, its been a week already since i last blogged about what was happening to me. quite a lot has changed since then.
for one, what i actually picked up was pneumonia. I discovered this last friday when i went to the hospital after realizing the antiviral tami flu drugs were not working.

The doc didn't really know what was wrong with me. So he asked me to go get an x-ray of my upper torso. then from the x-ray, he found pneumonia.

"i was right laaa."

"?"

"your son got pneumonia la wei and he has to be admitted."

I looked at my dad, he looked at me and said "you can die ya know?"

hahaha, long story short, i was admitted in and they took care of me and monitored my condition for 3 days. i was placed in the isolation ward of course. no one was allowed to visit or see me. not even my family. it was basically prison with aircond.the nurses took good care of me though. i was given strong antibiotics through drips. it kinda sucks having a needle stuck in your arm all the time.

I started to get better slowly. my body seemed to be able to fight the bacteria off. and it was responding well to the antibiotics. so the doc looked and me and said "what are you doing here? your fine laaaa" and sent me home.

i'm still under quarantine. for one week at least. i'm still sick, still coughing quite a bit but things are much better now. my strength and energy is coming back and i can finally take care of myself. i still have a lot to recover from, but i'll be fine in a bit.

This is all thanks to God. He has pulled me through this whole period. i was put on the national prayer network, my church friends started a prayer time for me, the whole of rangers was praying for me, people from klang were praying, citychurchkl was praying. it worked. Everyone has been just amazing, sending me messages, calling me,encouraging me. i have a loving family of friends and i have an awesome God that is able to heal.

the awesome view outside.

after losing 5 kg's.

Balloons from selangor 7 :D

It really made my day.

since i was allowed visitors, this was my only way to the outside world. long phone bill awaits at the end of the month.

Terry, the drips tower. follows me everywhere.

My tubes. stuck on me and in me.

at the end of a day like mine
all i can say is that
my God truly is
mighty to save.

Dull the nails that still remain.

It has been a tough week for me. the virus doesn't seem to leave. the pain doesn't seem to go. every morning i wake up in a tough situation, to break or to fight. to cry or to stand strong.

For those of you who don't already know, i picked up the H1N1 virus. it is not confirmed because our wonderful government has not supplied the hospitals with enough resources to run an adequate test. My body is fighting it every second of the day. and every second of the day, i'm praying.

Sometimes it is bearable. like for now, as i'm typing this. Sometimes, my temp goes up,my mind feels like its being pounded by a sledgehammer, my back screams and my lungs are about to burst out of coughing nothing. that's another tough situation. to break or to fight. i've already lost 4Kg's in 5 days and my energy levels our prolly down by 75%. walking up the staircase is a chore for me.

The only thing that is keeping me going, is faith. i'm not going to die. i was born ready to take anything on. and if i do die, then its just time for me to go. i don't believe in fate. i believe in God's perfect timing in His plan for my life. so i decide to fight, because my strength in Jesus, never fails me. like i said, every second i'm praying. every second i'm singing a worship song. every second i'm holding on to the truth that Jesus is my healer, and that nothing is impossible for Him.

at the end of a day like mine, all i know, all i can say is that my God truly is mighty to save.

I'm not alone. Deuteronomy 31:8

Call To Arms.

Down in Singapore, about a week ago, I was studying sejarah. Thoughts started swirling my head and my heart as well. I was tired. I think it was about one in the morn but I made sure I wrote this down.

8 of August 2009.

I’ve been reading a lot about our history, learning stuff about politics and all. Then I soon realized that the fact that our country is in a way “at peace” is the very reason why most Malaysians don’t love their country or don’t seem to be patriotic at all. Hard to understand, I know.

Countries that are war torn are suffering. The families are dying; they’re constantly on the run. For them, things can change in a split second. These are the countries that have a reason to be patriotic. That reason is HOPE. Hope that their country will one day be at peace. So they persevere and keep their love for their country.

What we don’t see is that although guns and missiles are not tearing our lives apart, there is still a war going on. All the corruption and efforts to destroy it is simply, a diplomatic war. Most Malaysians don’t realize this because they don’t bother to observe and study our political situation. Sure they can kutuk here kutuk there but they don’t actually know what is going on. Some people even think it’s a racial issue, “Malays are always the ones to blame”, they say, but they don’t bother finding the real truth. Their tidak apa attitude creates a mindset that Malaysia is actually “at peace” and there isn’t much to fight for. This gives no reason to care about the future of the country [they say “I’m gonna migrate anyway”], no reason to love our country, No real identity at all.

Sometimes I wonder, “Why have I been so patriotic over the past 2 years?” especially when just before that, I hated our country and like everyone else, was planning to move elsewhere. My parents are probably the answer. Just because they fill me in a tad bit about what is actually going on, I’ve found a reason to care, a reason to love, a reason to persevere.

People simply need to know.

That’s not all. It doesn’t stop there. People need to ACT. Who are we talking about? Which people? The people who are called to make a difference. CHRISTIANS. Hello?

For years, 2000 years to be exact, Christians have been living UNDER A ROCK. How ironic when we are the ones who are supposed to be the salt and the light of the world, don’t you think? This is why the world thinks we are simply, a religion, a bunch of people putting on a fake image of dignity, and “goody two shoes” just to get to heaven.

Here’s a question. If PAS can be on the streets at every rally, at every meeting, at every protest, making their voices heard, making a difference, can’t we as Christians who have someone BIGGER inside of us do more than what PAS can? What do we have to fear? Jesus DID NOT come to earth to bring PEACE. He came to give us a SWORD [matt 10:34]. As much as He helps us, we have to fight this battle. He’s ain’t gonna do everything for you.

I’m not saying we should start a political organization or run for parliament or whatever. I’m saying we have to make our voices heard. We’ve gotta HAVE A VOICE, not just a voice that comes from under a rock. We’ve gotta FIGHT for justice for peole who can’t.

“Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow” [Isaiah 1:17]

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. For the rights of all who are destitute, Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy” [Proverbs 31:8-9]

Just by the church coming out of the rock and expressing opinions, we already are being the salt and the light of the world and that’s just a small bit that we can do. I mean, is there anything that is IMPOSSIBLE for our God?

You see, Christianity is not about getting to heaven. Let me say it again. Christianity is not about getting to heaven. Christianity is about walking with God while we walk on this earth and making a difference while we are still around BEFORE we get to heaven. We’re just passing through, folks. We can do something while we’re around. We ain’t called to get to heaven, we are called to BRING HEAVEN ON EARTH. God doesn’t want us in heaven yet. If He did, we’d all be there a looonnngg time ago. He wants us here, in the middle of the war, to fight and make known His GLORY, which is our HEART fully ALIVE, shinning before all men as the light of the world.

the time has come

to stand for all we believe in.

Elephant Cargo.

Bye jie jie, have a great 2 and a half years in Uni

Like a child.

There are so many things that I wish for.

I wish that I was like David, a man after God's heart. For some reason, david had the ability to please God with one strum of the harp. he gave the most excellent of worship by man that pleased God.

I wish I could hear God audibly. To know if He really sounds like optimus prime or winnie the pooh.

I wish i could see angels. Different types of angels, flying around with faces that radiate the room.

I wish I could go to heaven for a day, or even an hour. To see if they really have a 24 hour buffet. better is one day in Your courts than thousands else where.

I wish poverty wasn't.

I wish people could learn to love one another.

I wish the church could break down its walls and denominations and join together in unity, bringing Jesus to the nations.

I wish I could bring Jesus to the nations.

I wish I could change the world.

I wish I could stop wishing and start doing. I can and I will. one day i will see all these things happen. One day i will feel the mountains tremble, when the lost begin to sing of Jesus Christ, the risen One.

The wonder of it all, is that we're living just to fall more and more in love with You. so take my worlds apart and i'll be a history maker.

Take the beauty, take my tears.

Ladies and gents, once again, the big question about…

Life.

It has to be more than just the existence in the physical or natural world. What makes us jump for joy, or tear our hearts out till the floor is wet? We can’t merely be single functioned robots that do nothing but play and work. We have a soul, one that is fearfully and wonderfully made, one that belongs to a centre called our hearts and our heart is meant to be transformed into something that will bring glory to God. Truly, the Glory of God is a heart that is fully alive, as John Eldredge wrote in his book, waking the dead.

It really shocks the world how an individual, a life, can be there one second and gone, the next. All the experiences of a person, from young till present, all that he or she has gone through over the years, can disappear in one second.

The truth is, it doesn’t. Life never disappears. We were born into this world for a purpose, we are, in fact, meant to live for so much more. We may not see this, or even more so, believe this but, we impact the lives of people around us in all kinds of ways. We change our world a person at a time.

Since I was 12, I’ve been praying for an electric guitar. I didn’t have much money at that time. The great news is that a stuck situation is just a set up for God to show a miracle. I knew that if it was God’s will, He’ll give me a guitar. Eventually, 2 years later, that prayer, an unusual expectation, turned into a miracle.

There was this dude who I’ve never met. He was a friend’s friend. He found out I wanted a guitar and that I had no money for one. So he just gave me one of his old ones. He GAVE, no cost, no nothing. I hardly knew him, nor did he know me. That is the Christ-likeness he showed. It was truly God’s blessing that enabled me to give God glory through one of the only ways I knew I could.

3 years later, about a month ago, I got a message on my hand phone. Lim Yu Vern, a 17 year old that freely gave up a guitar that would have brought him some extra cash or whatever to someone he’s never met, passed away in a motorcycle accident.

I felt horrible after reading that message. I never bothered to get to know him. I never bothered to try and return the favor and kindness he once showed me. I don’t know how he lived, but one thing is for sure. He impacted my life. He changed the world.

We don’t always know our life’s purpose, but God knows it and He has a great plan for you and me. Even though this dude was only 17 and had so many years ahead of him, I know that he didn’t leave in vain. He changed the world by changing one life and, that’s just only me. I’m sure he was an extreme blessing to his other friends. When it’s time to leave, it simply means that you’ve done your job. You have been part of God’s plan and now it’s time for something greater, the real life in the kingdom of God.

In the same way, I believe that when it is not our time yet, we still have a lot to do.

Just the other day, two friends of mine were involved in a car accident. They were shocked, traumatized. They told me they could have died in that split second but guess what, they’re not. Praise God! Why? Because life begins at the intersection. It’s now their time yet. There are still things to be done here, more lives to impact, a whole world to change! Now is when they can rise up and truly see what God has in store for the rest of their lives. If you two are reading this, get ready for something unusual to happen, get ready for God to move in your life in ways you’ve never dreamed of. This experience is not a car accident, it is a wakeup call, and it is God saying welcome to the real world. Welcome to life J

Our lives are no mistake. What happens to us or to the people around us is no mistake. Everything happens for a reason. There is no such thing as a “bad event” or an accident. It is just a set up, a set up for God to intercede and to show us miracles and things that we would never dream of. Everything is possible through Jesus. Greater is He who is in you than the one who is in the world.